No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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