he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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