Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
