there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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