yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
