It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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