Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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