I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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