You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
