I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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