the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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