at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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