there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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