My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You are the jesus of drinking
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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