Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
