Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
