do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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