I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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