and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
