When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
