My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
