Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize