so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
