They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
