So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
