And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
