Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize