The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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