Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
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