I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
