I cut my penus on the lid.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize