i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
