I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
