Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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