How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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