and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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