so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
