I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
