My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize