we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
