But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
