is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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