Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I got chris browned last night
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
