Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize