yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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