Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
