I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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