Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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