So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize