Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
