He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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