You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
