hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize