im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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