who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i will never coherently bang her
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
