Define "chronic" masturbator.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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