Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
