I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He better not be in your backpack
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize