She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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