i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
