So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
