i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
