Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm at about main and main street
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
