There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
