Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
