I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
