You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
