Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
