i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
