Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize