She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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