she looked like the bat from fern gully.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
