we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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